and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
