is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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