so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
