How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
