i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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