I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
two words: eviction party
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
