I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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