Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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