Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
