omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
