yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
