is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
