Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
