somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
