Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
