She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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