peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
