in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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