I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
