I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
