did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
