why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
