What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
