I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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