if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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