You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Your cock deserves a montage
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Randomize
