I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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