i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
