If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
