She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
