I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
