I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
