I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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