you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
