I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
