I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
