How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
