it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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