Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
