just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
