Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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