Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
