and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
