I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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