He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
