apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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