I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
COCAINE IS GR8
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
