If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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