I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
