There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
