can u get pink eye on your cock?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
