I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
