Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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