DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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