normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
