It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
