i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
