I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
