I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
