Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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