He kissed a someone with a penis
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
