You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
