I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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