Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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