I love black thongs
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm both gender and math confused
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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