a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize