I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
