Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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