i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
